Awareness and Honesty

Something that I read regarding awareness tonight goes hand in hand with something about honesty that I heard said on TV this morning. I will do my best to give you a quick background on each.

I have been reading about conceptual blocks, defined as, "mental walls that block the problem-solver from correctly perceiving a problem or conceiving its solution." The same book, Conceptual Blockbusting, a Guide to Better Ideas by James L. Adams, goes on to say that, "most of us are not aware of the extent of our conceptual blocks. Awareness can not only allow us to better know our strengths and weaknesses, but can give us the motivation and the knowledge necessary to modify or avoid such blocks."

I was watching Starting Over today. In a nutshell, it is a reality TV show about a group of women living together in the 'starting over house' and trying to tackle some tough issues in their individual lives. During the show one of the ladies said that the honesty of the other women in the house was what enabled her to see how she was perceived by others and finally make the changes that she needed to make in order to 'start over'. Her comments made me really start to think about truth and honesty and how much I might be able to accomplish if the people around me were truly honest with me.

The problem with honesty is that it is often very difficult to accept. No one likes to have their flaws pointed out to them, including me. Example, Christmas 2004, my mom and sister both pointed out that they had spotted a few gray hairs on my head. I was angry and resentful. Why? I am always saying that I would like people to point out my flaws so that I can work on fixing them. Then, when something is pointed out, I become defensive. I am annoyed with myself just thinking about it.

I'm not talking about flaws like a scar or a big nose or a wrinkle or two. With my wavering self-esteem those don't always help. I am talking about the flaws that might really annoy someone or possibly be detrimental to a relationship. My girlfriend Jen pointed out to me in a joking sort of way that I am always late and I have been more conscious of it ever since. I want to learn how to be on time all of the time. The truth helped. Here's another one. My husband brought it to my attention that sometimes I come across in a very condescending manner/tone of voice toward him. I was hurt that he perceived what I was saying in that way, but now that I know, I can work on how I say things in the future.

I could go on and on with examples, but the bottom line is that I think constructive criticism is good. We can make ourselves better if we are more aware of our weaknesses. We also have to realize that if we do pursue finding out about the chinks in our armor, we should not be angry with what others tell us. Sometimes the truth hurts, but sometimes it is the truth that we need to hear in order to have the opportunity to become better people.